HOW IT IS DONE. 



AN ORIGINAL 
DOMESTIC DRAMA 

IN FOUR ACTS. 



WILLIAM OKIE McCARTY. 



Entered accordiug to Act of Congress in the year 1888, by W. O. McCarty, | 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. ' 




PHILADELPHIA: 

HORTING & SNADER, 

1894. 



HOW IT IS DONE. 



AN ORIGINAL 
DOMESTIC DRAMA 

IN FOUR ACTS. 



WILLIAM OKIE McCARTY. 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1888, by W. O. McCarty, 
in the office of the I^ibrarian of Congress, at. Washington, D. C. 




PHILADELPHIA: 

HORTING & SNADER, 
1894. 



' 




>2-o ^^ 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Bibbins Real Estate Agent. \ 

Tibbs Clerk. ^C^L^ 

Smulls Constable. I ^ ^ n 

Millard Auctioneer. v I I 0. -J 

Fagg Millard's Assistant. jvl I ^ 

Tom Grimes .... I servants. ^^ » * 

Tim Murray . . . . j J^ I 

Brown Tin Roofer. * 

Mrs. Price Tenant. 

Susan ) 

Flora > Children of Mrs. Price. 

Richard j 

Mrs. De Huff 

Mrs. Falbus .... 1 

Mrs. Jones ^Tenants. 

Mrs. Pippson . . . | 

Mrs. Bell J 

Quinby Philanthropist. 

Finn Detective. 

Shaw Assistant Detective. 

Bennett Police Officer. 

Men and Women desiring to rent houses. 

Tenants, guests and others. 

COSTUMES OF THE DAY. 



ACT I 
Scene i- A room in Mrs Price's house. 
Scene 2 — Mr. Bibbins' office. 

Scene 3— Kitchen in Mrs. Bell's house. 

Scene 4— Sitting-room in Mrs. Price's house. 

ACT II 

Scene i — Bibbins' Office. 

Scene 2— Library in Bibbins' residence. 

Scene 3— Sitting-room in Mrs. Price's house. 

ACT III 
Scene i— A Street. 

Scene 2— A side view of Skipp's Court after the sale. 

Scene 3— Street in front of Detective Finn's residence. 
Scene 4— Sitting-room in Detective Finn's house. 

ACT IV 

Scene i — Bibbins' Office. 

Scene 2— Front view of Bibbins' grand residence. 

EXITS AND ENTRANCES 

L. D. means left door ; R. D., right door ; U. E., upper entrance ; L. E., 
left entrance ; R. E., right entrance. 

RELATIVE POSITIONS 

C. means centre ; L., left ; R., right ; L. S., left side ; R. S., right side. 



HOW IT IS DONE 



ACT I. 

Time — Winter. Place — Philadelphia. 

ScKNK I. — A room in Mrs. Price' s house. The widow 

seated sewing at the bedside of her sick child, 

Susan, aged nine years. Her other children. 

Flora and Richard, aged respectively seven and 

Jive years, are also present. 

Widow Price. Oh, what shall I do ! I hope and 
pray that Mr. Bibbins, the agent, will wait a little 
while longer for the rent. He has sent his clerk, 
John Tibbs, here twice already to collect it, but I 
could not pay it on account of the extra expense I 
have been put to through the sickness of my darling. 
\L 00 king fondly at her sleeping child Susan. 

The rent has been due only three days, and in ad- 
vance at that ; yet I fear if it is not paid soon my 
household goods will be sold, myself and little ones 
turned out into the streets, homeless — and my child 
sick, too. Oh, even the thoughts of it almost drives 
me mad ! {She weeps. 

Flora. {Hugs her 7not her. ^ Don't cry, dear mother! 
God will help us — so you have told me many times — 
don't you remember? 

Widow Price. {Embracing Flora.'] Yes, my dar- 
ling, I do remember telling you so, and I still believe 
He will help us in some way. 

{Rises, arranges the bed clothing ; then sits down. 

I feel sure that I could manage to pay this month's^ 
rent, in full, on the day that it will be actually due, by' 
selling part of m^^ furniture, and with what I conld 
earn by sewing in the meantime ; but I fear the agent 



4 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

will not be willing to wait until then. My dear hus- 
band died almost two ^^ears ago. Oh, were he now 
living he would protect us from the impending calam- 
ity ! A month later we moved into this house, and I 
have alwa^^s managed until now to pay the rent 
promptly in advance. To do so I have toiled early 
and late. Many sleepless nights have I passed, through 
the almost constant fear of being unable to pay the 
rent, and now to think of what may take place. 
Homeless, and in mid-winter, too ! That would be 
terrible ! I was forced to sign away the law's protec- 
tion, so I am helpless. \^Ske weeps, 

Susan. \_Awakening from her sleepy Poor 
Mother, what is the matter? Don't cry. It makes 
me sad to see 5^ou so worried. 

Widow Price, [Caressing Susan.'] There is noth- 
ing the matter, my dear. I am worried because you 
are not well. Do you feel better, my pet ? 

Susan. Yes, I feel better to-day than I did yester- 
day. I will soon be well again, won't I, dear mother? 

Widow Price, [Looking fondly at her.] Yes, my 
darling — I hope so. 

Susan. It must make you, dear mother, feel very 
sad, when you think how hard you have to work to 
keep a home for yourself and us children. I frequently 
awake late in the night, and when I do I always see 
you sitting at m}^ bedside sewing, and it makes me sad. 

Widow Price. [Caressing Susan.] You must not 
think of such things. If you do, it will prevent you 
from getting well. And that would make me very 
sad, indeed. 

Susatt. Mother, I will try to be ver>^ happy, and 
then I will soon get well again, won't I ? 

Widow Price. Yes, dear. [Rises ^ You [to Flora] 
take care of the house. I am going out [puts on a 
shawl], but will soon return. Remain near your 
sister. 

Flora. I will, dear mother. 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONK 5 

Widow Price, \Aside.'\ I am now going to see 
Mr. Bibbins, and beg him to wait a while longer for 
the rent. May God soften his hard heart. He had 
Mr. Winter's household goods sold the other day for 
non-payment of advance rent. No wonder he is so 
hated. \Knocking is heard at the door. 

Oh, gracious ! I hope it is not the Constable — yet 
I fear it is. [ Widow Price opens the door. 

Enter John Tibbs, u. B. 

Tibbs, Good morning, Mrs. Price. 

Widow Price. Good morning, sir ; I suppose you 
came to collect the rent ? 

Tibbs. Yes, Madam. 

Widow Price, Well, I cannot pay it now ; but 
you will please to tell Mr. Bibbins that I will call at 
his office within an hour to see him. 

Tibbs. Very well, madam ; I will report to Mr. 
Bibbins what you have said. How is your little girl 
to-day ? 

Widow Price. She is better to-day, I thank you. 

Tibbs, I am glad to hear that she is, and hope 
that she will soon get well. Good day. 

Widow Price, Good morning, sir. 

\Exit Tibbs, u. K. 

\Aside,'\ I will now go to see Mr. Bibbins. You, 
\To Flora and Richard^ children, must not let any- 
body in the house during my absence. \Goes to the door. 
Flora and Richard, We will not let anybody in 
the house while you are away. Good by, mother. 
Come back soon. 

Widow Price, I will. Good by, my darlings. \Em- 
bracing them.~\ [Exit, Widow Price, u. K. 

Scene II. — Office ; Mr. Thomas Bibbins seated at 
his writing-desk (r. s.) reading a newspaper, 

Bibbins, \Looks up from paper. '\ I wonder what 



6 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

can be keeping Tibbs so long. He should have been 

here an hour ago. [Reads, 

Enter Tibbs, iv. d. 

Tibbs. Good morning, sir. It is very cold to-day. 

Bibbins. [Lays paper on his desk.] What kept you 
so long ? I have been expecting you the last hour. 

Tibbs. Well, Sir, when I called at Mr. Williams' 
house he was not at home. I waited until he came — 
over half an hour. 

Bibbins. Well, did he pay his rent ? 

Tibbs. Yes, Sir ; here it is. 

[Hands the money to Bibbins, who afte rseeing 
it is correct, pnts it in his pocket.] 

Bibbins. It is a good thing for him that he did. 
Did you collect Mrs. Price's rent? 

Tibbs. No, sir, I did not. She promised to call 
here at the office almost immediately to see you re- 
garding the rent. 

Enter Mrs. Price, l. d. 

Widow Price. Good morning, Mr. Bibbins. It is 
terribly cold to-day. 

Bibbins. Good morning, madam. Who are you ? 

Widow Price. Why, don't you know me? I am 
Mrs. Price. [Takes a seat near desk. 

Bibbins. [Hesitatingly .] Well, yes, I think I do. 
But I did not at first. There are so many persons 
coming and going during office hours that it makes it 
hard for me to remember faces of persons whom I do 
not frequently see. Now, you have not been here 
before for many months. 

Widow Price. No, sir ; it has been almost a year 
since I was here before. 

Bibbins. Well, madam, what can I do for 3^ou ? 

Widow Price. I came here, sir, to see if you would 
be kind enough to wait a week longer for the rent. 
By that time I feel sure that I could pay it. I hope 
you will, sir. 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONK. 7 

Bibbins, I am sorry, madam, that I cannot ac- 
commodate you. The owner of the property has 
already been here for his rent, and left orders to have 
it collected at once. 

Widow Price, But, sir, my rent is not actually 
due. 

Bibbins. What do you mean, madam? Tibbs, 
does not this lady's lease call for advance rent. If so, 
when was it due ? ^ [ Tibbs rises and hunts the lease. 

Widow Price, Yes, sir, it does. I was forced to 
sign it. I do not get my money until the goods have 
been made up — sometimes not even then. It is unjust 
to compel anyone to pay rent in advance — very un- 
just. 

Tibbs, \Holding up the lease, '\ Yes, sir, it does — 
one month's rent was due three days ago. 

[ Tibbs takes seat at desk, 

Bibbins. Now, you see, Mrs. Price, I have al- 
ready waited three days over the time. Not many 
agents who would be willing to wait that long, you 
know. 

Widow Price, But you have already sent Mr. 
Tibbs, your clerk here, {^pointing to Tibbs'] three times 
to my house to collect it ; the last time was this morn- 
ing. 

Bibbins, That is just it, madam. Now, as a rule, 
I only send once for the rent — on the day that it is 
due ; if not paid on that day or* the day following, I 
give the matter into the hands of Mr. Smulls to collect. 
You, of course, have heard of him. 

Widow Price, Yes, sir, I have. He is a constable. 
But you will certainly have pity upon me when you 
have heard of the distressed state that I am now in. 
Oh, sir, I will tell you ! 

Bibbins, No, no, madam, I do not wish to hear 
about your troubles — I am simply agent for the 
property. 



8 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

Enter A Lady, l. d. 

Lady, I wish to rent a small house ; have you 
any small houses to rent ? 

Bibbins. Yes, madam ; we have a nice five-roomed 
house on Bidd street, in good order, with all modern 
conveniences. Rent, fifteen dollars per month. 

Lady, Well, sir, I would like to look through 
the house. Should it suit me, I will rent it. I like 
the locality. 

Bibbins, Certainly, madam. \To Tibbs, who rises. ^ 
Look among those keys hanging up there \^pointing 
to end of the 7V07n\ and get the one that belongs to that 
house on Bidd street. Then go with this lady and 
show her through the house. 

Tibbs. All right, sir. \Looking over the keys, finds 
the proper one,'] Come, madam. 

[Exeunt Lady and Tibbs, x,, d. 
Widow Price. I have been too ill, sir, for more 
than a month to do much work. I sew for a liveli- 
hood. Besides, I have a sick child on my hands at 
present, and have had for some time. Under these 
circumstances, sir, you certainly will have merc}^ upon 
myself and little ones. If you do not, we will be 
homeless, in the cold streets. 

Bibbins, There is no use in making so much fuss. 
You have said that you would be satisfied with a 
week's time to raise the rent in. You will have five 
days from date of lev}^ to do so, you know. 

Widow Price, Oh, 3''OU inhuman wretch ! You 
would add to the amount already due, would you? 
[Rises,] How could I pay it? [Exit Mrs, Price, L. d. 

Bibbins. [Rises, goes to Q. of stage,] Confound 
the woman ! I have never been so insulted before in 
all my life. If she does not pay her rent in full by 
to-morrow noon, I shall the same da}^ have her house- 
hold goods levied upon by Mr. Smulls. I do not wish 
to hear about the distress of the poor. They have no 
business to be poor. [Takes a seat l. of desk. 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONK. 9 

Enter Tibbs, i.. d. 

Tibbs. [Puts the key in its place.'] The lady did 
not want the house. She said the rent is too high for 
so small a house. \_Takes a seat (r.) of desk, 

Bibbi7is, What the devil does she expect to get for 
fifteen dollars a month? — a mansion, possibly. 

Enter Smui^i^s, i.. d., rubbing his hands together, 

Smulls. \Takes a seat i,. s, of desk ] Good morn- 
ing, Mr. Bibbins. It is a very cold day, sir. 

Bibbins, Yes, pretty cold. Did you carry out my 
orders which I gave you a few days ago ? 

Smulls, Yes, sir, I did. I have levied upon the 
household goods of seven of your tenants who have 
not paid up. One of them, Mr. Banks, the carpenter, 
is still bed-ridden. 

Bibbins. What the devil have I to do with that ? 
I hope you are not getting soft-hearted. Are you? 
Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Smulls. Oh, no; ah ! ah ! ah ! I simply men- 
tioned the fact, — no further thought. 

Bibbins. You did right in obeying my orders. 
Landlords, real estate agents and constables must not 
have hearts, you know — ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Smulls. Right you are, sir. Mrs. Banks begged 
me, with tears in her eyes, to wait a few days longer 
before making the levy. She said that she would try 
to raise the money by that time and pay up by selling 
a part of her furniture and by borrowing some money 
from her friends. 

Bibbins. Had you consented to do so, you would 
have acted without authority. 

Smulls. That is very true, sir. 

Bibbins. You know as well as I do that it is abso- 
lutely necessary for men in my line of business who 
desire to get rich — and the most of them do — to sup- 
press the natural promptings of their hearts to aid 
those who are unfortunate, when such feelings in any 



lO 



HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 



way interfere with their worldly gain. The same 
applies to worldlings in every walk of life, who do 
likewise without compunction. And their number is 
great, indeed. 

Smidls. You are right, sir. 

Bibbms. Now, as a rule, owners of dwelling 
houses do not want to know when any of their tenants 
are in distress ; but they do want their tenants to pay 
promptly. Consequently they employ agents, and 
agents employ constables whenever necessary . Should 
we become tender-hearted, property owners would 
have no further use for us. Don't you see? What a 
fix we would then be in — ah ! ah ! ah ! 
Enter Genti^Kman, i^. d. 
Gent, Have you \to Bibbiiis] any small or medium 
sized houses on hand to rent ? 

Bibbins. We have a small house on Bidd street ; 
rent, fifteen dollars per month. 

Gent. The location would not suit me. Any 
others, sir? 

Bibbins. Yes, sir ; we have a seven-roomed house 
to rent on Summer street, with all modern conveni- 
ences. Rent, twenty dollars per month. How would 
that suit you ? 

Gent. I will decide after having consulted with 
my wife about the matter. I will likely call again 
to-morrow. 

Bibbins. Very well, sir ; suit yourself about it. 
Gent. Good day, sir. {Exit Gentleman, L. d. 

Sniulls. {To Bibbi7is.'\ Have you any more busi- 
ness on hand for me, sir? If not, I will go at once. 
I have been a little too extravagant recently, and the 
money spent must be made up — ah ! ah ! ah ! I 
thought it likely that some of your tenants might be 
in arrears with their rent a few days or so, and that 
you would like to hurry them up a little by sending 
me to call upon them. So I came to see about the 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONE. 1 1 

matter. It comes in very convenient to me when I 
am short of funds. One needs a great deal of coal to 
keep warm a winter like this, you know — ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Bibbms. \To Tibbs.~\ Go to Bell Row and try to 
collect the rents that are due to-day. Should the 
tenants hesitate to pay up, tell them that I shall be 
obliged to send Mr. SmuUs to see them. They well 
know what his calling to see them means. 

Smulls, Oh, sir, 3^ou should not warn them ; you 
will ruin my business — ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Bibbins. \_To Tibbs.^ They know when their rents 
are due. Consequently, they should be prepared to 
pay. So, go at once. 

Tibbs. \Rises^ Very well, sir. 

\Exit Tibbs, i^. D. 

Bibbins. \Rises, gets his account books ; then takes 
a seat at desk, r. s.] — I will now see what I can do for 
you, Smulls. {Looks over the books ^ Put down the 
names as I read them off. 

Smulls. [Brings frofn his pocket a book and opejis 
it.^ Very well, sir. I am now ready ; go on. 

Bibbins. Widow Bell ; John Black ; John Muney ; 
Henry Jones ; Widow Clark, and Mr. Pippson. All 
of these are tenants of Skipps' Court, — 5^ou know them 
all, don't you? [Bibbins closes the book. 

Smulls. Yes, sir ; I do. Is that all ? 

Bibbins. [Hesitating.'] No, no ; one more — Mrs. 
Price. I had forgotten her. [Aside.] What a won- 
der, too. She is a very unreasonable woman. 

Smulls. [Aside, pretending to be looking over his 
ynemorandum book.] Widow Bell has a good cook 
stove, just the kind of a one I need. Should I find 
her willing to give it to me I will keep out of the way 
and let her remove the rest of her goods from the house 
late at night. Old Bibbins will have to pay the costs 
of levy, anywa3^ [Rises, and stands near desk.] I 
will go at once to see her and try to get the stove. 



12 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

Bibbins. Well, SmuUs, if you have anything more 
to say, speak out. 

Smulls. \Puts the book in his coat-pocket^ No, no. 
I have nothing more to say. Good day, sir. 

\Exit Smulls, L. D. 

Bibbi?ts. [^Rises. Pretends to be looking, over some 
paper s.~\ I have much to be thankful for. I have been 
in my present business not quite ten years — had but 
little money when I started. I have lived well during 
all that time, and I am now worth, in real and personal 
property, more than thirty thousand dollars. Thank 
God ! \Exit Bibbins, x,. d. 

SCENK III. — SmulIvS in Skipps' Court, — Kitchen in 
Mrs. BkIvIv's house, — Mrs. Beli. seated at a table 
(c.) of stage. 

Enter Mrs. Jones, very much agitated, l. d. 

Mrs. Jones. I came to tell, you, Mrs. Bell — oh, it 
is terrible ! — that Smulls is in our court again. The 
horrid creature ! Doubtless he came to levy upon the 
household goods of the court tenants. I saw him 
going from house to house. 

Mrs. Bell. You don't say so ! Then he will likely 
pay me a visit — oh, what a wretch that Bibbins must 
be ! I do not believe that there is a tenant in the 
court who actually owes a week's rent. 

Mrs. Jones. \_Takes a seat near the table.'] Neither 
do I. It is nothing more nor less than robbery to com- 
pel tenants to pay rent in advance. 

Mrs. Bell. For my part, I cannot now, nor will I 
be able to pay this month's rent, within five days — to 
say nothing of the costs of levy, which, of course, 
will be added. So, my goods, if levied upon, will be 
sold. Oh, heavens ! what shall I do ? [ Weeps. 

Mrs, Jones. Oh, don't take it so hard. Should 
Smulls levy upon your goods, you may find some way 
to prevent them from being sold. Something may turn 
up that will aid you. However, should things come 



Scene 3] HOW IT IS DONE 1 3 

to the worst, you will not be any worse off than the 
rest of us, you know. 

Mrs, Bell. You are right, Mrs. Jones ; I must not 
look at the darkest side. After all, Smulls may not 
levy upon my household goods, as I am only two days 
in arrear with my rent. But I wonder what Mr. and 
Mrs. Pippson and their children will do if they are 
sold out. He is and has been sick so long. They 
must be now very poor. 

Mrs. Jones. Mr. Bibbins would not permit Smulls 
to levy upon their goods in their distressed state — not, 
at least, before the rent is actually due. He is not 
quite brute enough for that, I hope. 

Mrs. Bell. Perhaps Bibbins does not know of the 
family's distressed condition? 

\_Mrs. Bell goes to the window, w. K. 

Mrs. Jones. That is so. He may not know it ; 
but I am quite sure that Smulls does. 

Mrs. Bell. Oh, come here, Mrs. Jones ! \Mrs. 
Jones goes to the window.'] Look ! There is Smulls 
standing on Mr. Pippson's doorsteps — oh, the villian ! 

Mrs. Jones. So he is. There, he is going in — it 
is too bad. \^They return to the table and take seats. 

Enter Mrs. Pippson, much excited, L. D. 

Mrs. Pippson. Oh, oh ! what shall we do ? That 
old devil, Smulls, is in our house, and says he came to 
levy upon our goods. And my poor husband sick, 
too. [ Weeps. 

Mrs. B. and Mrs. J. Oh, what a confounded 
shame ! [ They rise, 

Mrs. Pippson. Mrs. Jones will you please come 
with me into our house and help us persuade Smulls 
to have mercy upon us ? 

Mrs. Jones. Certainly I will, though my husband 

and I are or will shortly be in the same boat of misery. 

[^Exeunt Mrs. Pippson and Mrs. Jones ^ iv. d. 



14 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

£nfer Smtji^i^s, (r. d.) kai in hand. 

Smulls. How do you do, Mrs. Bell ? 

Mrs. Bell. Have you come, sir, to levy upon the 
household goods of a poor, lone widow? If so, you 
ought to be ashamed of yourself. 

S7nulls. [Looks at the stove.^ Well, you know that 
I must do my duty. But, however — hem. 

Mrs. Bell. What do you mean b}- but, however? 
Oh, sir, do have pity upon me ! To be turned out 
into the cold streets, homeless, would be awful. Oh ! 
is there no way to soften your callous heart ? 

Smulls. \_Takes a seat near table. ^ Don't talk in 
that manner to me again, if you please. What I 
meant by "but however" was that I was thinking 
that under the circumstances you might be willing to 
part with some of your goods. You have a nice stove 
there. Why — not sell it ? 

Mrs. Bell. Oh, sir, what could I get for it? — not 
half enough to pay my rent. No, that would never 
do — unless I could find some good-hearted soul to buy 
it who would pay me nearl}^ its full value. You may 
need a stove like that one. If so, wh}^ not \hesitates\ 
take it, and let me go with the rest of my goods ? 

Smulls. [Aside.^ Oh, no. I do not want the 
stove. — No, madam ; that you know would never do. 
I would be held responsible, and besides [hesitates^ you 
have no place to go to, anyway. 

Mrs. Bell. \_Mo7r hopeful. '\ I pray you, sir, take 
it, and keep out of the way. I will remove my goods 
late at night. I shall never tell anybody that I gave 
you the stove. 

Smulls. I will think over the matter. I must go 
now. \Pretends to be anxious to go. ^ I shall return 
within an hour. I do not see what use it would be to 
me. 

Mrs. Bell. Oh, sir, the stove is quite new ; you 
could sell it, if you do not need it. I can manage in 



Scene 4] HOW IT IS DONK. ' 1 5 

some way to do without it. \_Aszde.^ Oh, Eternal 
Father ! this is a terrible fix to be in. And the rent 
not actually due. — Do take the stove, sir, and let me 
go with the rest of my goodvS — will you ? 

Smiclls. Well — as I do not wivSh to be considered 
a hard-hearted man — I will let you go, provided you 
promise to keep the matter to yourself. 

Mrs. Bell. Oh, thank you, sir ; how kind 3^ou 
are. I promise never, never, to speak of the matter 
to anyone — oh, believe me ! 

Smulls. I will trust you, anyway. I will to-night 
send a man for the stove. Do not fail to let him have 
it. [^Rises, goes to the R. D.] Or you will have cause 
to regret it — remember that. \Exit Smulls, r. d. 

Mrs. Bell. How shall I manage to raise enough 
motley to pay for having my goods removed from here ? 
I am penniless. lyct me see now ! Oh, yes, I had 
forgotten that I have a gold ring — my wedding ring — 
I must pawn it. I can get at least two dollars on it. 
Oh, thank heaven ! It will enable me to pay for the 
removal of my household goods from here. Oh! Lord, 
pity me. \_Weeps.'} \Exit Mrs. Bell, i,. d. 

ScENK IV. — Sitting -room in Mrs. Price's house. — 
Widow Prick seated at a table (c.) of stage. 

Widow Price. I need not now expect any mercy 
from Bibbins, the agent. I called him an inhuman 
wretch — but what else is he ? Though I am half sorry 
now that I did so, on account of my poor children. 
He might have had pity upon us had I not done so, 
but I could not help it. His manner and words almost 
broke my heart. I was desperate. 

Enter V\,o^K, r. d. 

Flora. \Goes to her mother. '\ Oh, mother, I am 
so glad that sister Susan is getting better. 

Widozv Price. \jEmbracing her.^ Yes, my dear, 
I know you are. We should be ver}^ thankful to God 



1 6 • HOW IT IS DONK. [Act I 

for her improved condition — and we are. But, darl- 
ing, you must not leave your sister Susan too long 
alone. 

Flora. I will not, dear mother. I will return to 
her at once. 

Widow Price, That is right, my pet. \Caressing 
her.'] Now go. I will soon be with you. 

[Exit Flora, r. d. 

Enter SMUi^iyS, after knocking, at k. d. 

Smidls, You are Mrs. Price, I believe. 

Widow Price. Yes, sir, I am ; what do you want ? 
[A side.] I do believe he is the constable referred to 
by Bibbins — oh, horrible ! — Who are you ? 

Smtclls. \Takes a seat 7iear table.] I am, madam, 
an officer of the law, or, in plain words, a constable. 
You owe Mr. Bibbins a month's rent, which has been 
due for some time. 

Widow Price. Only about three days, sir — in ad- 
vance. 

Smidls. You should be very thankful to Mr. Bib- 
bins for having waited so long, I am sure. 

Widow Price. Well, I am not, because I have no 
reason to be. On the contrary, your presence here is 
proof that he is about to act — through you —most in- 
humanly. I therefore have good reason to hate him. 

Smidls. Hem — I must, of course, do my duty, 
madam. 

Widow Price. Oh, sir, this is too terrible ! Why, 
I cannot pay the rent, to say nothing of the costs of 
levy. It is possible that I may raise the mone}^ within 
a week to pay the rent — will you wait until then, sir ? 
If you do, God will prosper you — I know He will. 
Have you no heart ? [ Weeps. 

Smidls. I am sorry for you, madam. But I am 
compelled to do my dut3^ I would be held responsi- 
ble by Mr. Bibbins now that the matter has been 
placed into my hands.*" 



Scene 4] HOW IT IS DONE. 1 7 

Widow Price. \Aside.'\ Oh! merciful heavens! 
raise some one up to aid me. O, God ! forget me not ! 
— Well, sir, if it is your duty to distress the poor I 
have nothing more to sa3^ Do so, in the devil's name, 
not in God's. 

Smulls. Why, madam, how you talk ! You as- 
tonish me. 

\Here he brings from his coat-pocket a carte- 
blanche, and at once begi7is to fill it in. 

Widow Price. Do you wish to see the up-stairs 
part of the house, sir. 

Smulls. No, madam. There is no need to do so 
at present. This landlord's warrant distrains all goods 
now on the premises. If you do not pay the rent and 
the costs of levy or replevy the said goods within 
five days from this date an appraisement will be made. 
Then we will go through the house — not 'before. 
Should you be able to pay the rent and costs even after 
your goods shall have been appraised they will not 
then be sold. 

Widow Price. Oh, sir ; it will be impossible for 
me to raise money enough by that time to pay the rent 
and costs. [ Weeps, 

Smulls. \Jiises.~\ Here, madam, is a copy of the 
levy. \JJe hands it to her ; she takes it.'] You will find 
my address and office hours printed thereon. Should 
you be able to settle the matter within the prescribed 
time I will be pleased to have you call upon me. 
l^Goes to the door.] I am very sorry to have been com- 
pelled to disturb you, madam ; good day. 

[^Exit Sm^ulls, R. D. 

Widow Price. I am glad that is over, at least, for 
the present. I am much relieved, though in deeper 
misery than before. God may yet raise some one up 
to aid me. Oh, would I not be thankful ! Some years 
ago a report reached me of the death of an only brother, 
but I did not, do not, nor never shall as long as I live, 
believe it. Something tells me that he 4S still alive, 



1 8 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

and will some da^^ find out my whereabouts and come 
to me. Brother Will left home about fifteen years ago. 
Since which time both father and mother have departed 
this life. My husband died two 3^ears ago leaving me 
penniless, and with three children to support. Since 
which time I have struggled hard to keep poverty from 
entering our home. But, alas ! hard-handed poverty 
has entered and I am powerless. God knows I need 
a helping hand ! [ Weeps. 

\_K710ckmg at lu. D. Widozv Price rises a7id opens ii.^ 

Enter William Quinby, a gentlema7i of inedium age. 

Quifiby. Are you Mrs. Price? 

Widow Price. Yes, sir, I am ; what may your 
business be with me ? 

Qiiinby. It is soon told, madam. I overheard two 
women, who were in conversation at the entrance of 
the court, speak very feelingly of the distressed condi- 
tion of a poor widow. I was passing at the time. I 
stopped and inquired of them the cause. They will- 
ingly related to me your story, or as much of it as 
they likely knew. I at once resolved to render some 
assistance to one who seemed so worthy. So here I 
am, ready, with your permission, to carry out that 
resolve. What say you ? 

Widow Price. I heartily thank you for your kind 
offer of assistance, but must decline to accept it owing 
to the fact that you are a total stranger to me. Some 
of the tenants, in the near-by court, are in deeper 
miser}^ than even I am. Consequently, it seems rather 
odd — does it not — that you should desire to help me ? 
Please be seated, sir. \They take seats near the table. 

Quinby. I was, madam, unaware of the unfor- 
tunate condition of the people residing in the court 
until you yourself informed me. But believe me, 
madam, in oflFering to assist you my motives were and 
are perfectly honorable. 

Widow Price. I believe you, sir ; indeed I do. 



Scene 4] HOW IT IS DONE. 1 9 

Qiiinby, I have always sympathized with those in 
distress, and have aided, in a pecuniary way — to the 
extent of my means — those whom I have met and 
found worthy. I am a stranger in this part of the 
country. I arrived in this city last night. 

Widow Price. Have you traveled much, sir? 

Quinby. Yes, madam, considerable, in this and 
other countries. 

Widow Price. \^Aside.~\ He may have met my 
brother in his travels. — Do you intend to remain in 
this city, sir? 

Quinby. No, madam. I intend to leave here to- 
night, by train, for Baltimore City, Md., where I shall 
endeavor to find an only sister whom I have neither 
seen nor heard from nor of, for nearly fifteen years. I 
hope she is still alive. I have heard of the death of 
my parents. 

Widow Price. What was the name of your sister ? 
I had an only brother who left his parental home many 
years ago. At the time of his departure we resided on 
a farm situated on the Philadelphia road about seven 
miles from the city of Baltimore. 

Quinby, [ With much agitation. '\ My sister's name 
was Caroline Quinby. 

Widow Price. \Greatly agitated.'] Oh, sir, that 
was my maiden name ! Can it be that you are my 
brother whom I have so long longed to see ! 

Quinby. My name is William Quinby. Did any- 
thing remarkable happen to your brother about two 
months previous to his departure from home? If so, 
what was it ? 

Widow Price. Yes. One da}^ while he was riding 
a horse at full speed across a field the animal stumbled, 
in consequence of which my brother was thrown to the 
ground with great force. Several farm hands seeing 
the accident carried him into the house in an insensible 
condition. 



20 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act I 

Quinby. The facts you have related, have removed 
all my doubts. I am your brother ! \They rise arid 
embrace?^ Oh, my dear sister, Caroline ! How glad 
I am to see you ! 

Widow Price, God knows I am very glad to see 
you, dear brother Will. You have come none too soon 
to prevent myself and children from being turned out 
of doors homeless. \Aside.'\ Thank God, my prayers 
have been answered ! 

[ They here take seats near table. 

Quinby. I ai;i not rich, but I have managed to 
save a few thousand dollars. I presume you have now 
no objections to permit me to assist you. Have 3"ou ? 

Widow Price, No, no, my dear brother. 

Quinby. I will, to-morrow, pa}^ the rent now due 
and the costs of lev3% and before the present month 
expires I will have your goods removed to another 
and better house. What sa}^ you ? 

Widow Price. That will be splendid. But, dear 
Will, \she rises'] come with me ; I want you to see my 
dear children. I know they will be delighted to see 
their Uncle Will. 

Quinby, Yes, dear Caroline. I will be ver}^ gald 
to see your darlings. \Rises,~\ We will go at once. 
\Aside.\ Thanks be to God that I have found my 
dear sister, and that I have the means to raise her out 
of her miserable condition. 

[Exeunt Widow Price and Quinby, r. d. 

END OF ACT I. 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONE. 21 



ACT II. 

ScENK I. — Office. — Bibbins seated (i.. s.) of desk (c.) 
of stage writing. 

Enter Tibbs, u. K. 

Bibbins. Well, Tibbs, did you experience any 
difficulty in collecting the rents from the tenants in 
Bell Row ? 

Tibbs. \Takes a seat at (r.) desk.'\ No, sir. 

Bibbins. I am glad to hear it. Did they pay up 
in full ? 

Tibbs. Yes, sir, they did, with one exception — 
Widow Falbus, who still owes a balance of four dol- 
lars. The amount of money that I collected I de- 
posited in bank as usual. Here is the bank-book. 

\Hands it to hhn. 

Bibbins. \Opens the book.~\ Yes, I see it is all 
right. Did Mrs. Falbus state when she would pay the 
balance of her rent ? 

Tibbs. Yes, sir ; within a few days, or as soon as 
she can dispose of her sitting-room stove. 

Bibbins. What in the devil have I to do with her 
sitting-room stove. If she pays not to-day in full I 
shall to-morrow send Smulls to see her. 

Enter Mrs. Falbus, u. e. 

Mrs. Falbus. Mr. Bibbins, I called to ask a 
favor 

Bibbins. Well, what is it? 

Mrs. Falbus. Will you be kind enough to wait 
until the latter part of next week for the balance of 
rent I owe you. If you do I will not then be com- 
pelled to part with my sitting-room stove to pay you ? 

Bibbins. I am sorry, madam, but I cannot grant 
your request. 



22 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act II 

Mrs. Falbiis. You should condsider, sir, that I 
have been a tenant of 3^ours for almost two years. 
This is the first time that I have failed to pay my rent 
in full promptly in advance, though on several occa- 
sions I was forced to sell a part of my furniture to do so. 

Bibbins. Madam, I have no fault to find with you 
so far as regards the past ; it is the present time, on 
account of your failure to pay this month's rent in 
full. That is all 

Mrs. Falbus. Oh, sir ! you will at least wait a few 
days to give me time to sell my sitting-room stove to 
raise the money to pay you, won't you ? 

Bibbins. No, madam, I cannot wait. I am simpl}^ 
agent not owner of the propert}^, 3'Ou know. 

Mrs. Falbus. I think it is a vSin, sir, to so oppress 
the poor. Why, it seems to me that the poor under 
the present state of society would not be allowed to 
exist at all were they not an indispensable part of the 
world*s machinery through whose workings great 
wealth is produced. The cream of which goes to the 
few, the milk and water to the many. Thus the rich 
are getting richer, the poor poorer. But, sir, you will 
have pity upon me ? [ Weeps. 

Bibbins. How you talk, woman. I gave you my 
answer. I feel sorry for you, certainly. 

Mrs. Falbus. {Contemptuously^ Yes you do ! But, 
sir, the day may not be far distant when you will feel 
sorry — not for me — but for yourself, you vampire ! 

{Exit Mrs. Falbus, u. K. 

Bibbins. {Rises in great agitation. '\ Confound that 
impertinent j ade. The devil has certainly been let loose 
amongst my tenants. However, I will get square with 
her. {Takes a seat.'] I shall send Smulls to her house 
to-morrow. Oh, the ingrate ! 

E7iter Smulls, u. E. 

Smtdls. Have you, sir {to Mr. Bibbi7is\, anything 
on hand at present in my line of business ? 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONE 23 

Bibbins. Yes. I want you to go to Mrs. Falbus' 
house to-morrow morning and levy upon her house- 
hold goods. See to it, too, that she does not get away 
with her goods. 

Smulls, All right, sir ; I will attend to the matter 
properly. 

Bibbins. Did you carr}^ out my orders regarding 
my tenants in Skipps' court ? 

Smulls. I did, sir, in every particular. 

Bibbins. That was right. Well 

Smulls. \_Hesitati?igly.'] But, sir, Mrs. Bell got 
away with her goods on the very night of the day that 
I made the levy. 

Bibbins. Oh, the devil she did ! Why did you not 
see to the matter better ? Did you watch the place ? 
If so, how did she manage to get away with her goods ? 

Smulls. No, sir ; I did not watch her house per- 
sonally, but I had a man to do so. Unfortunately he 
was compelled to return to his home about midnight 
through sudden sickness — so he told me the next 
morning. But never fear, sir, I shall find out where 
Mrs. Bell has moved to long before the thirty days 
are up. [Aside.'] Of course I will. — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Bibbins. Why, Smulls, you seem pleased. 

Sfnulls. No, sir, I am not. But I will be pleased 
when I find out the whereabouts of that ungrateful 
woman, Mrs. Bell. Oh, won't I though !— Ah ! ah ! 

Bibbins. The case is in your hands, so do your 
best to find out where she has moved to. But, in the 
meantime keep a sharp lookout upon the rest of the 
tenants in Skipps' court. If you do not some of the 
others may also give you the slip. 

Smulls. There is not the least danger, sir. I now 
have the court well watched day and night, so you see 
it is impossible for any of them to remove their goods 
without being detected. 

Bibbins. Very well ; I am satisfied now with your 



24 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act II 

present management of the affair ; — I have implicit 
confidence in you, you know. 

Smulls. Indeed I do, sir. And your confidence 
in me has never been, is not nor never shall be abused. 
Good day, sir. [^Exit Smulls, u. E. 

Bibbins. \To Tibbs.'] You go at once to Mr. 
Bennett's house, and collect the rent. It is due to-da3\ 

Tibbs. \^Rises/\ All right, sir. 

[^Exit Tibbs, u. E. 

Bibbins. It is just possible that Mrs. Bell paid 
Smulls a few dollars to let her go with her household 
goods. No, no ; I will not believe that he would be 
guilty of such perfidy — at least, not without some 
proof. 

Enter Brown (u. E.), the tinroofer. 

Brown. How do you do, Mr. Bibbins. I called to 
say that I have repaired the roof of that Elder street 
house. 

Bibbins. I am pleased with your promptness, 
sir. How much is your bill ? I may as well pay you 
now. 

Brown. Five dollars, sir; but you need not pay 
it now. I have not the bill made out. 

Bibbins. Then make it out at once for — say nine 
dollars. I must get paid for my trouble, you know. 

[Here he hands Brown a sheet of paper. 

Brown. [Takes a seat at desk.~\ Of course you 
ought to. [lVriting'.~\ Here, sir [hands the bill re- 
ceipted~\, I have made it out for nine dollars. 

Bibbins. [Hands Mr. Brown a Jive-dollar note.~\ 
Here, sir, is your money. That is right, Mr. Brown, 
I believe. 

Brown. [Hesitating 7\ Hem — oh, yes ; I thank 
you, sir. [Rises.'\ Good day. [Exit Brown, u. E. 

Bibbins. Brown appeared astonished when I 
handed him the five-doUor note. I suppose he ex- 
pected me to share the other four dollars with him. — 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONE. 25 

Ah ! ah ! ah ! My running expenses are too great for 
that. I cannot, of course, do the same on large bills. 
After all, it is a mere matter of business, and it is done 
every day. \jExzt Bibbins, u. K. 

SCKNK II. — Library in Bibbins' residence. — Bibbins 
seated at a table (c.) of stage, reading a book. 

Enter Tom Grimks, a servant, r. d. 

Tom. There is a gentleman in the parlor who 
wishes to see you, sir. 

Bibbins. Did the gentleman give his name ? 

Tom. No, sir ; though I requested him to do so. 

Bibbins. I will see the gentleman, whoever he may 
be. Show him up at once. \Continues to read. 

Tom. All right, sir. \Exit Tom, r. d. 

Bibbins. \Looking Mp.~\ Well, well ! I wonder 
who he can be. \Continues to read. 

Re-e7iter Tom , followed by the gentleman (Qvinby),^. d. 

Tom. Here is the gentleman, sir. 

Bibbins. [Lays book aside, rises and offers a chair 
to the stranger.'] Take a seat, sir. [To Tom.] You 
may go now. [Exit Tom, r. d. 

Quinby. Thank you, sir. [Sitsdown^ My name 
is William Quinby. 

Bibbins. [Takes a seat.] And mine, I presume 
you already know, is Thomas Bibbins. 

Quinby. [Rises.] Yes, sir, I do ; and I am pleased 
to make your acquaintance, sir. 

Bibbins. [Rises.] Thank you, sir. [Here they 
shake hands ; they then take seats near table.] What 
may your business be with me, sir ? 

Quinby. I have only recently returned to this 
country after an absence of nearly fifteen years. I 
have made a great deal of money during which time, 
and have managed to save some thousands of dollars. 
Now my object in calling upon you is to get your 
judgment regarding real estate in general. 



26 HOW IT IS DONK. [Act II 

Bibbijis. Then I presume, sir, your idea is to in- 
vest your money in real estate. If so, it is a capital 
idea I can assure you. 

Quinby. Yes, sir, I think of doing so. 

Bibbins. Should you conclude to do so, my advice 
would be to invest your mone}^ in small or medium- 
sized dwelling-houses, which, when properly man- 
aged, pays as high as twelve per cent, interest per 
year. 

Quinby. Have you, sir, in your calculation, al- 
lowed for losses which at times must be great through 
the inabilit}^ of tenants, at times, to pa}^ their rents? 
On account of, for instance, sickness, non-employment 
or death, as small- and medium-sized houses are as a 
rule occupied by those who depend entirely upon their 
daily labor for the means of support. 

Bibbins, No, sir, I have not, for the simple reason 
that property owners sustain no loss through their 
tenants not being able to pay their rent no matter from 
what cause arises their inabilit}^ to do so. Incidental 
losses have been taken into account, as a matter of 
course. 

Quinby. I don't understand how such losses as I 
have mentioned can be avoided. Will you please to 
explain, sir? 

Bibbins. I will, sir, with great pleasure. When a 
tenant rents a house from the owner or his agent, as the 
case may be, he is compelled to sign a lease, in which 
he agrees to pay the rent punctually in advance 
monthly on the day it falls due. And further agrees, 
that all goods on the premises, and for thirty days after 
removal, shall be liable to distress for non-payment of 
rent, and also waives the benefits of all exemption 
laws in relation thereto, and also from a levy and sale 
under a writ of execution issued upon any judgment 
obtained against him for the recovery of said rent or 
any part thereof. In fact, sir, the lease gives unto the 
owner or his agent absolute power relative thereto in 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONE 27 

case of the non-fulfilment, on the part of the tenant, 
of an}^ of the covenants contained in the lease. 

Quinby. Is there no interest allowed for the money 
thus forced from the tenants in advance ? 

Bibbins, No ; . certainly not. So, sir, you can 
easily understand from what I have said that landlords, 
do not lose any money through the inabilit}^ of tenants 
to pay their rents. 

Qidnby. Yes, sir, I understand perfectly, and it 
seems to me that tenants, especially the poor ones, are 
nothing more nor less than slaves of the rich, who 
neither have to clothe nor feed them. The slave- 
owners of the South were compelled to do both. 

Bibbins. Ah ! ah ! You have certainly hit the 
nail on the head, sir. By all means invest in real es- 
tate — nothing more safe and profitable. 

Qtiinby. {Seriously^ Well, sir, I would dislike 
to have a man's household goods sold for non-payment 
of a month's rent actually due under any circum- 
stances, but to do so for non-payment of advance rent, 
in my opinion, would be nothing more nor less than 
robbery. 

Bibbins, \_Agitated,~\ I am truly sorr}^ that you 
hold such an opinion ; you astonish me. I would 
have been more circumspect, sir, had I not felt sure 
that, as a matter of course, you would think such 
treatment of tenants praiseworthy. We — meaning 
men in my line of business — as a rule do not consider 
it robbery to sell a man's goods for non-payment of 
advance rent. 

Quinby. Well, sir, I cannot see the matter in any 
other light. 

Bibbins. Is it not, sir, the tenants fault if he fails 
to live up to his agreement ? I am sure it is neither 
the fault of the landlord nor his agent, his failure to do 
so. We look upon the matter in a purely business 
light, and, of course, I expected you would do like- 
wise. 



28 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act II 

Quinby. Then, sir, I presume that unless I should 
be willing to have such inhuman acts committed upon 
tenants in distress it would be folly for me to invest 
money in small, or, in fact, in any sized houses with the 
expectation of making a profit such as you mentioned. 

Bibbins. [^Hesitating.'] Well, sir, to be candid 
with you, I must say that it would be unwise to do so. 

Qjciiiby. Do not tenants complain, sir, of the 
evident injustice of being forced to waive the benefits 
of the exemption laws mentioned, and the miseries 
which frequently follow their involuntary acts ? 

Bibbins. As a matter of course they do, but what 
can they do about it ? They must live in houses, con- 
sequently the}^ are compelled to rent them under the 
"iron-clad lease system," which is almost universal 
in this country. 

Quinby. Well, sir, I thank you for the important 
information which you have been pleased to impart to 
me, but I do not think that I will invest money in real 
estate — not at present at least. — [Aside.] — I will see 
what can be done to break up this iron-clad lease hvisi- 
n^ss.^lRises.] — I will now take m}^ departure. 

Bibbins. [Rings the bell.] Wait, sir, if 3^ou please 
until the servant appears. 

Quinby. I will, sir. 

Enter Tom Grimes, r. d. 

Bibbins. [Rises.] Tom, show the gentleman out. 
[They go to n. d] Good day, Mr. Quinby. 

Quinby. Good day, sir. 

[Exeunt Tom and Quinby, R. D. 

Bibbins. [Takes a seat.] Well, well ; that Quinby 
fellow is a fool. He stands in his own light in hold- 
ing such opinions, yet, I confess, he is on the side of 
justice. From that very fact there is considerable 
danger that he will soon be as poor as the proverbial 
church mouse. [Rises.] An old saying, and a true 
one, is " that a fool and his money are soon parted." — 
Ah ! ah ! ah ! [Exit Bibbins, u. E. 



Scene 3] HOW IT IS DONE. 29 

SCKNK III. — Sitting-room in Widow Price' s house. — 
Mrs. Price seated near a table (c.) of stage ; her 
three children are present. — Susan seated in an 
armed-chair near-by. 

Widow Price. \To Susan.'] Do you feel well 
enough, my dear, to wait up to see your Uncle William? 
He promised to come here to-night. 

Susan. Yes, dear mother, I do. I love Uncle 
William. I hope he will come. Can I wait up to see 
him ? 

Widow Price. Yes, dear ; and so may Flora and 
Richard, if they wish to do so. 

Flora and Richard. We will be very glad to see 
our Uncle William, so we will wait up until he comes. 

Widow Price. No wonder that you all love your 
uncle so much. Had it not been for his generosity we 
would most likely be homeless, or almost so. 

[Knocking at door, u. E. 

All the children. Maybe that is Uncle William ; 
we hope so. [ Widow Price opens the door. 

Enter Quinby, u. E. 

Widow Price. Welcome, brother William. We are 
glad to see you. 

Quinby. Thank you, my dear sister. I am glad 
to be so kindly received. \Goes to Susan, kisses her, 
then the other children^ How have you all been during 
my absence ? 

Widow Price. Pretty well, considering our late ex- 
perience. Susan is much improved in health. 

Quinby. I am very glad that she is. I suppose 
you children waited up on purpose to see me. Am I 
right ? 

All the children. You are, dear Uncle William ! 

Quinby. Then I will reward you. [Here he shares 
a bag of candy amongst them.~\ What should you say 
for it? 



30 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act II 

All the children. Thank you, Uncle William ; 3^ou 
are very kind — we love you ver}^ much. 

Quinby. I am very glad you do. 

Widow Price, Come children, 3^ou must now go to 
bed, so say good night to 3'our kind uncle. 

All the child^m. Good night, dear Uncle William. 

Quinby. \Ca7^esses them.'] Good night, dear chil- 
dren. [Exeunt fnot her and children (jj. ^.)] Susan sup- 
pci'ted by her mother,] Well, well ! [Here he takes a 
seat near the table,] How could any man have the 
heart to turn such dear, little children out into the 
streets homeless ? Yet such would have been the case 
had I not happened to turn up just in time to prevent 
it. Thank God that I was able to do so. And such 
inhuman acts Bibbins views from a purely business 
standpoint. Oh, what a wretch he must be to do so. 

Enter Vy^^ (u. E.), <2 detective i7i the employ of Quinby , 

Finn. Good evening, Mr. Quinby. 

Quinby. [Rises,] Good evening, sir. Take a 
seat. Anything new to impart to me concerning the 
affair we have on hand ? If so, I am ready to hear it. 

tin7i. Yes, sir. [Here they take seats near the 
tabled] I have. 

Quinby, Well, proceed, sir. 

Ehui, I will at once, and state that I have been 
entirely unsuccessful in m}- earnest endeavors to per- 
suade even one of the hundred or more owners of 
property of the city whom I visited during the past 
week to agree in writing or otherwise to the very rea- 
sonable, and I may add humane, request, to the effect 
that they, the property owners, would not in the future 
sell nor cause to be sold the household goods or any 
part thereof, of any tenant of theirs renting under the 
iron-clad lease system, for non-payment of a month's 
rent, not even when the same is actually due when the 
failure to pay is caused by the poverty of the tenant 
or tenants as the case may be. Provided, the person 



Scene 3] HOW IT IS DONE. 3 1 

or persons so circumstanced shall vacate such premises 
within five days from the receipt of a printed or written 
notification to that effect, from either the owner or his 
agent. All such notices shall bear the date of the 
following day — Sundays excepted — on which the rent 
is actually due. This shall apply only to persons of 
good repute. - 

Quinby. Did you mention to the gentlemen to 
whom you spoke of the matter that unless they were 
willing to grant the request, that an association would 
be organized for the purpose of protecting tenants 
from the injustice of landlords and their agents? If 
so, what answer made they, if any ? 

Finn, I did, sir. A few onl}^ replied to the threat, 
and they did so in an indifferent manner to the effect 
that no association would ever be able to prevent land- 
lords from compelling tenants to sign an iron-clad lease 
— so called — or waiving the benefits of all exemption 
laws relating thereto. Whether just or unjust the same 
would be continued and advance rent be demanded. 
They treated the whole affair as not being worthy of 
their serious consideration. 

Quinby. Well, what about the tenants' side of the 
question ? Do they, as a rule, take kindly to the idea 
of organizing an anti-iron-clad lease and protective 
association, do you know? 

Fijin. Well, sir, according to the written report of 
my assistants the idea was everywhere received and 
seconded in a most hearty manner, by all classes of 
tenants. This was specially the case by those occupy- 
ing medium- and small-sized dwelling houses. 

Qui?iby. Such being the case I feel overjoyed, 
though I expected just such a report. Now, then, as 
the property owners whom you visited have refused to 
grant the request, and as others who own real estate 
would most likely do likewise, I conclude that the next 
best thing to do would be to call a meeting of tenants 
and explain to them my plans with a view to organ- 



32 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act II 

izing the proposed association, and abide by their de- 
cision in the matter. What say you ? 

Finji. I think that would be the proper course 
to pursue. When shall the proposed meeting take 
place ? 

Qiiinby. Let me see — this is Wednesday. How 
would next Tuesday evening do ? 

Finn. Very well, I think. Where do you intend 
to hold the meeting ? 

Quinby. With your permission — in the sitting- 
room of your residence. What say you ? 

Finn, I most willingly consent to the proposition, 
and grant permission to hold the meeting at my house. 
I will as soon as possible make all the necessary ar- 
rangements relating thereto. 

Quinby. Well, do so. Now, that matter being 
settled to our joint satisfaction, I wish to know whether 
you have as yet received any information tending to 
verify your suspicions regarding Mr. Bibbins ? 

Finn. No, sir ; not as yet, but I expect to know 
in a short time whether Bibbins is really David Gribbs, 
the man who is wanted for committing forgery^ or not, 
as I have an expert detective working on the case. 
In the meantime it is meet that the matter be kept 
dark. 

Quinby. I have not spoken of the affair to anyone 
except yourself, nor will I do so until yo\x deem it 
both proper and safe. 

Finn. That will doubtless be the proper course to 
pursue in the matter. Having nothing more of im- 
portance to communicate to you I will go. 

\Fin7i rises. 

Quinby. \^Rises^ All right, sir. I will see you 
to the front door. \Fxeunt Quinby and Finn, u. E. 

END OF ACT II. 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONE. 33 



ACT III. 

Scene I. — A street. 
Enter (l. E.) SmuIvLS, followed by Millard, the auc- 
tioneer, and his assistant Jim. Fogg, with a red flag 
in his right hand. — They stop at (c.) of stage, 

Smulls, \_To Millard.'] This is a very cold morn- 
ing, sir. Why, I am nearly frozen. \Jiubs his hands 
together.] I do not believe that there will be very 
many people at the sale to-day, it is too intensely cold. 

Millard. \To Smulls.'] I think you are right. It 
is certainly very cold, but we are sure to have plenty 
of those second-hand furniture dealers at the sale. I 
have never known it cold enough to keep that 'class of 
people away from a constable's sale. 

Smulls, \_To Millard.] The people in Skipps' 
court have but little furniture in their homes, and 
what they have is pretty well worn out. I don't be- 
lieve that their household effects will bring enough 
money to pay the expenses of the sale — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Millard. \_To Smulls.] I am glad that such is the 
case. — The shorter the horse the sooner it is curried, 
as the old saying has it — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Fogg. \To Millard.] I should think, sir, the 
more goods the more money you would get for selling 
them, as I presume you are to do the job on the per- 
centage plan, as is usual ? 

Millard. \To FoggT] No, I am not. I have 
agreed with Mr. Bibbins to do the job for a certain 
amount of money, so you see that it will make no dif- 
ference to me, nor to the tenants either as far as I can 
see, whether their goods bring five dollars ($5.00) or 
a hundred — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Fogg. \To Millard.] Well, sir, such being the 
case, you can well afford to laugh — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 



34 HOW IT IS DONK. [Act III 

Smulls. Well, gentlemen, we had better move on. 
\Looking at his watch.'] It is now half-past eight 
o'clock. It will be nine before we can reach the 
court, and the sale is to begin at 9.30, you know. 

Millard. You are right, Smulls. Let us go at 
once. 

Fogg. So say I — Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

\Exeu7it (r. k.) Smulls and Millard, followed 
by Fogg, waving the red flag. 

Enter (i,. K.) Mrs. Pippson, a tenant of Skipps' court, 
in great agitation. 

Mrs. Pippson. Oh, it is a terrible cold morning. 
I have been up and out of doors since six o'clock seek- 
ing a temporary home for my poor, sick husband, my- 
self, and our children, but without success. We will 
be homeless before the sun sets this day unless some 
kind soul gives us shelter. Oh, oh ! what shall we 
do ? [ Weeps bitterly. 

Enter yi^s. Dk Huff (r. k.), an elderly lady, on her 
way to her home. 

Mrs. De Huff. \Goes to her.] What is the mat- 
ter with you, my poor child? Don't cry, but tell me 
your trouble. 

Mrs. Pippson. [^Stops crying.] Oh ! dear, kind 
lady, I am almost heart-broken, because we — my sick 
husband, myself and dear little ones — will have no 
home to shelter us by night-fall. [ Weeps. 

Mrs. De Huff. Don't cry, madam, but tell me 
who you are, where you live and the reason you have 
for saying that you and your family will be homeless 
when the sun goes down. 

Mrs. Pippson. M}^ name is Mrs. Julia Pippson. 
We live in Skipps' court. We, and other tenants of 
the court, are to be sold out to-day for non-payment of 
a month's rent due in advance. 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONK. 35 

Mrs, De Huff. Oh ! horrible ! On such a da}^ as 
this ! How I do pity you all from the bottom of my 
heart. 

Mrs. Pippson. I believe you do, madam. And I 
feel grateful to you for it. 

Mrs. De Huff. \Here the old lady puts her arm 
about the waist of Mrs. Pippson and looks at her intently^ 
Since I come to look at you closer, your face seems 
familiar to me. What was your maiden name, my 
dear ? 

Mrs. Pippson. Julia Sans. 

Mrs. De Huff. Julia Sans ! Oh, mercy on me ! 
Was your mother's name Mrs. Eliza Sans, whose 
husband was a shoemaker ? 

Mrs. Pippson. Yes, madam. 

Mrs. De Huff. Lord bless me, you don't say so? 
You are the very image of your mother when she was 
your age. How well I remember her. You were a mere 
child when you were left an orphan, and when I saw 
you last. Come, my dear, with me, you and yours 
shall make your home with me as long as you may 
see fit to do so. 

Mrs. Pippson. [Embracing the old lady.~\ May 
God bless you, dear lady, for your kind offer, which 
madam, I thankfully accept. [ Weeps. 

Mrs. De Huff. ^ [Kisses her.'] Don't weep, my 
dear, but come along wijth me. I am a childless 
widow and live alone. My house is large, so there 
is plenty of room for you and yours. 

[Exeunt (i,. E.) Mrs, De Huff and Mrs. Pipp- 
son. — The former' s arm about the latter. 

Enter (r. k.) Bibbins and his clerk, Tibbs. — Both stop 
at (c.) of stage. 

Tibbs. It is a pretty cold da}^ to sell anybody out 
of — as the saying goes — house and home. I pity those 
poor people in Skipps' court, who are to be sold out 
to-day. 



36 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act III 

Bibbins. [Muck astonished.^ Why, you con- 
founded ass ! What has come over you ? You to 
sympathize with people who do not pay their rent, 
and you thinking of and expecting to read law. You 
would make a nice lawyer. You would starve to death 
with such sentiments — bah ! 

Tibbs. But, sir, you should take into consideration 
that I am myself poor. Such being the case, I natu- 
rally sympathize with those in a like condition, es- 
pecially when in distress, as the court people certainly 
are at the present time. 

Bibbins. Yes, that is true. Yet, Tibbs, should you 
permit what are termed natural promptings of the 
heart to fully develop you would finally be controlled 
by them, and, in consequence, you would most likely 
remain poor, though honest. My advice is to suppress 
such promptings of the heart, or your higher nature, 
while you can, and be governed by self-interest and 
reason as all rich men are, or, at least, have been, else 
they would not be rich. 

Tibbs. Cannot a man by acting conscientiously in 
all his business dealings with his fellow-men become 
what is nowadays considered wealthy ? 

Bibbins. No man can become rich in any line of 
business that I am acquainted with or have any knowl- 
edge of without first throwing his conscience — should 
he possess such an article — to the dogs. But it is pos- 
sible for a man to become wealthy nowadays by simply 
acting in accordance with what are termed present-day 
business principles, which, I must confess, are rather 
too lax. I have now said all that I intend to say, at 
present, regarding the subject. Let us move on. 

Tibbs. [As they walk away?^ I thank you for 
3^our advice, and I will think over what you have said, 
sir. [Exeunt (l. E.) Bibbins and Tibbs. 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONE. 37 

Scene II. — A side view of Skipps' court after the sale, 
— SmulIvS, MiIvLARD, and^OGO stand (c.) of stage, 
— The recent court tenants stand about the front of 
the houses. — Their trunks, bundles, etc., nearby. 

Millard. {To Smulls.'] That was a quick job. 
The second-hand furniture dealers bought every article 
sold, paying, as usual, about one-third value. 

Smulls. \_To Millard. '\ You are right, sir ; it was 
a quick job, and the dealers were well pleased with 
their bargains. No wonder — ah ! ah ! ah ! But come, 
gentlemen, let us go and get something to drink to 
warm us up a little. What say you ? 

Millard and Fogg. We don't care if we do. 

{Exeunt Smulls, Millard, and Fogg, r. E. 

Enter Quinby and Finn, Iv. E. 

Finn. {Goes to (c.) of stage ^ Ladies and gentle- 
men : If you will be quiet for a few minutes I will in- 
troduce to you the originator of the idea of organizing 
an anti-iron-clad lease and protective association. 

The Tenants. We will, we will ! 

[ Quinby conies forward, 

Finn. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quinby. 

The Tenants, Huzza ! huzza ! Long live Mr. 
Quinby. [ Quinby bows politely, 

Finn. You have all, doubtless, heard or read of 
the commotion that our friend of the poor here {point- 
ing to Quinby'] and his lieutenants are creating among 
the landlords and their agents throughout the city. 

The Tenants. Yes, yes ; we have. Huzza ! huzza ! 

Finn. I will now give the floor to Mr. Quinby. 

Quinby. {Gets upon a box, then makes a bow."] 
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not come here to make a 
speech, but came to inform you that I have, with Mr. 
Finn's assistance, made arrangements for your tem- 
porary needs. {Cries of ''May God bless you/''] I 
therefore hope to see you all at our meeting to-morrow 



38 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act III 

night. You, of course, know where it is to be held. 
Am I right in thinking so ? 

Tenajits. You are, and we will be there. 
Quinby, It is too cold to remain here any longer. 
I therefore request you all to come with us, and we 
will conduct you to your temporary homes a few 
squares distant. — \Quinby gets doivn from the box a?id 
walks with Finn towards the (r. K.) amid cries of ''Lef s 
carry the gentle77ian, our benefactor — Huzza ! huzza ! 
huzza 1''^ — No, gentlemen, I would prefer to walk. 
Many thanks, gentlemen. 

\Here Quinby is picked up bodily and carried off 

the stage (r. 'E.) , followed by the crowd {except 

Finn), with cries of ^'Long live the protector 

of the poor — Huzza I huzza ! huzza .^"] 

Finn. \Near r. k.] Well does the name become 

him ! \Exit Finn, r. E. 

Scene III. — Street in front of Detective Finn' s resi- 
dence; over the door a sign reading : ' ' Te^iaiits' 
meeting will be held here to-night at 7.30. All are 
welcome. The meeting will be addressed by William 
Quinby, Esq., ' the friend of the poor .' " 

Enter Quinby and Finn, l. E. They stand i?i centre 

of stage. 

Quinby. [^Looking at his watch. ~\ We are a little 
too early. It is just seven o'clock. 

Fimi. I told you that we had plenty of time. We 
might have attended to that little business matter 
before coming here, but no matter now. To-morrow 
will answer almost as well. By-the-by — I heard to- 
day that Mr. Bibbins and his clerk, Tibbs, intend to 
be present at our meeting to-night. 

Quinby. So did I, and I hope they will attend. 
Finn, have your suspicions regarding Bibbins as yet 
been confirmed ? 



Scene 4] HOW IT IS DONE. 39 

Finn. Yes, sir, they have, but let us not speak 
further about the matter until after the meeting, when 
I will inform you fully regarding the same. 

Quinby. Very well ; that will be time enough. 
Now, let us go in. 

Quinby and Finn enter the house via door, almost im- 
mediately followed by men and women, the late {or 
recent^ tenants of Skipps' court, and others. Lastly 
by Mr. Bibbins and his clerk, Tibbs. They stop 
at the house-door. Bibbins looks up at the sign. 

Bibbins. \To Tibbs ^ A pretty big sign, anywa3^ 
But what puzzles me is, why people are not satisfied 
with the existing state of things. I do not believe in 
agitation. I like quietness. That Quinby fellow is 
the direct cause of all this commotion, which, how- 
ever, is a mere bubble. It will soon burst and that 
will end it. But come, let us go in anyway. 

\Bibbins and Tibbs enter house via door. 

ScKNK IV. Sitting-room in Detective Finn' s residence. 
Men and wo'men seated. Quinby and Finn seated, 
one (i^.)> ^^^ other (r.) ^ table. Location, one end 
of the room. 

Finn. \Rises^ I^adies and gentlemen, I will 
now introduce to you our friend and fellow- townsman 
— the philanthropist, cut as it were from the pure 
metal of philanthropy — Mr. William Quinby. 

[Ilere Quinby rises and snakes a bow, a^nid loud 
applause, with cries of- ''Speech ! Speech !'' 

Quinby. \_To Finn.'] You will please act as Sec- 
retary of this meeting. 

Finn. [^Prepares to take down notes.] I will, sir. 

Quinby. Ladies and gentlemen, I heartily thank 
you for your kind reception, though I am not vain 
enough to suppose that this outburst of feelings on 
your part are due to other than the cause I advocate, 



40 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act III 

and not to m^^self as an individual. \Co7itiniced ap- 
plause. '\ This is to be considered an informal meet- 
ing. Should my views meet with your approval, 
another meeting will be held here this night one week 
hence — in a formal manner — for the purpose of organ- 
izing an association to be known as *'The Anti-Iron- 
Clad Lease and Protective Association." 

Landlords and their agents have had their own 
sweet will long enough. I therefore think it is high 
time for tenants to have their say. — \AIL Applause, 
with cries of ' ' That is so .^"] — Just to think of it — land- 
lords, real estate agents and constables constitute a 
law unto themselves. So it seems to me. For, by 
forcing tenants to waive the benefits of all exemption 
laws relating thereto, they have full power (in case of 
non-payment of rent not actually due) to distrain and 
sell the household goods of their tenants — the fruits, 
possibly, of many years of toil — and turn them out 
into the streets homeless. This is not a fairy tale. 
This is not an overdrawn picture, but indisputable facts. 
There are persons present who can testify to the truth 
of my remarks, as they were themselves recentl}^ 
victims of such inhuman treatment. — \_Applause, with 
cries of ''Yes, yes ; too true, too true I God bless you, 
sir/''^ — Therefore I consider it right and proper to 
urge tenants to organize, to protect themselves from 
the unjust demands of owners and agents of dwelling- 
houses. \_Applause, zi'ith cries of " IVe zuill ! we will.'' 

My plans are : Firstly — That the proposed association shall 
not recognize as binding, on the part of its members, any writ- 
ten, printed, or other agreement or lease waiving the benefits 
of the exemption laws, or any part thereof, in relation thereto, 
whether signed previous to or after becoming members of the 
association. All such acts shall be considered as involuntary, 
consequently not obligatory. 

Secondly — No member shall be allowed either to pay rent in 
advance or to sign any lease or contract, written, printed, or 
otherwise, got up for any place of abode except the leases of 
the association, which shall be supplied to owners of property, 
their agents, and others, such as those who may have furnished 



Scene 4] HOW IT IS DONE 4 1 

or unfurnished room or rooms or parts of houses to let, free of 
charge on application. 

Thirdly — The association's leases shall, for the most part, be 
printed, and 'got up or worded in such a manner so as to be in 
accordance with the laws of equity. No equivocal word or 
•words shall be permitted therein. 

{Applause^ with cries of ^^Good, good .'" 

Fourthly — The president of the association shall have the 
power conferred upon him to appoint a committee, to consist 
of three reputable gentlemen members of the society, to serve 
one year from date of appointment. Each to receive not more 
than five hundred dollars (foco) for his services. This com- 
mittee shall investigate every and all complaints that may be 
made to the association by its members. 

Fifthly^ — The association shall extend aid to its indigent 
members in good standing not exceeding in any one year more 
than fifty dollars ($50). The same shall apply to members 
temporarily embarrassed, through sickness or any other un- 
avoidable causes. Provided such members possess, in house- 
hold goods, not more than three hundred dollars ($300). 
This shall be ascertained, by appraisement, by the special com- 
mittee referred to. 

Sixthly — A member's household goods, to the amount of 
three hundred dollars 1(300), shall be exempt from levy and 
sale for non-payment of rent, even when actually due, by rea- 
son of Article I., or as hereafter shall be determined. Should 
a tenant be unable to pay his rent by reason of sickness or other 
unavaoidable causes, and his case comes not within the mean- 
ing of Article VI., or if so, and he has already received the 
benefits therein conferred or in proportion thereof, as shall be 
his right to claim, accordingly as he may at the time occupy 
a house, room, or rooms therein, he shall, under such cir- 
cumstances, vacate the premises within five days after the rent 
is actually due. Provided he has received a written or printed 
notice to that effect from the owner, or his agent, of such prop- 
erty, or from any person having a rightful charge thereof, no 
matter what the time of year. The neglect or refusal, on the 
part of tenant, to comply with such notice, he shall thereby for- 
feit his right to membership. The same shall apply to all mem- 
bers of the association under like circumstances herein de- 
scribed. [Applause^ with cries of '* That is fair enough, ^^ 

Seventhly — Only reputable tenants shall be eligible to mem- 
bership. 

Eighthly — Men only of good repute and knowm integrity 
shall be eligible to hold any office of profit or non-profit in the 
association. Neither the wealth nor the poverty of applicants 
for official positions in the association shall be taken into con- 
sideration. [Loud applause. 



42 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act IV 

Ninthly — When the proposed association gets into good work- 
ing order a petition signed by all of its members shall be sent 
to the State Legislature, praying that a law be passed or made 
making it a misdemeanor for any person or persons owning 
dwelling-house or houses or any place of abode, or those having 
an interest therein, or any part thereof, such as furnished or 
unfurnished room, rooms, or parts of houses in any cit}- or 
town within this Commonwealth, to rent or to let the same or 
any part thereof to any person or persons for any unlawful or 
immoral purpose or purposes, or to ask, request, demand, or 
permit any person or persons to sign any kind of lease or agree- 
ment, written, printed, or otherwise got up, thereby waiving 
the benefits of the exemption laws, or any part thereof, that 
are now made, or that may hereafter be made, in relation 
thereto. And on conviction thereof shall be sentenced to pay 
a fine of not more than five hundred dollars ($500) or undergo 
an imprisonment not exceeding two years, either or both as the 
case or cases may demand in the opinion of the court. 

[Applause, with cries of " That idea is good, very good/' 

Lastly — The association shall by degrees extend its protect- 
ing arms to all reputable renters of dwelling-houses or places 
of abode in cities and towns until they — the arms — encircle, as 
it were, our blessed country. Its male members in time shall 
enter the political field. The sole aim or object shall be to bring 
about a political reformation by supporting any political party, 
by votes and otherwise, that shall promise to abrogate all un- 
just laws or those favoring the few, either State or national, to 
the detriment of the many, and to make or pass laws favoring 
the masses of our people, thereby preventing the centralization 
of capital or the power of the rich to enslave the poor. 

I have done. What say you ? Shall we meet here 
again this night one week hence for the purpose of 
organizing an anti-iron-clad lease and protective asso- 
ciation in accordance with my view relative thereto ? 
\Applause, with cries of ' ' Yes, yes ; we will, we will f 
So be it then. I heartily thank you all for your 
kind attention and approbation, so good night to one 
and all. 

\_jExeunl Quinby and Finn, r. t> ., followed by the 
crowd shouting ' ' Long live the advocate of the 
rights of the honorable poor. Hu22a ! 
huzza! huzza!'' Bibbins and Tibbs remain 
behind, near the R. d. 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONE. 43 

Bibbins. {To Tibbs.'] It ma}^ not turn out to be 
a mere bubble as I at first thought it would. 

\Exeunt Bibbi7is a7id Tibbs, R. D. 

KND OF ACT III. _ 



ACT IV. 



SCKNK I. — Bibbins' office. — Tibbs seated at the (l. S.) 
of writing-desk (c.) of stage, readijig a newspaper. 

Enter Bibbins (u. K.)- Takes a seat (r. s.) of desk. 

Bibbins, Well, Tibbs, did you collect the rents 
that you were sent after ?^ 

Tibbs. {Lays the paper aside. ^ Yes, sir ; I did. 
And deposited the money in bank, according to your 
orders. Here is the bank-book. 

{Tibbs hands the book to Bibbins. 

Bibbins. {Looks in the book.'] Yes, I see it is all 
right. Have you seen SmuUs lately ? 

Tibbs. Yes, sir ; I saw him yesterday. He prom- 
ised to call here this morning. 

Enter Smui^ls, u. E. 

Bibbins. Well, SmuUs, you are come at last, I see. 

Smulls. Yes, sir ; I am here, as you see. The 
fact is, I take very little interest in my business 
now-a-days, for the simple reason it does not pay me 
to do so. That association, curse it, has ruined m^^ 
business. 

Bibbins. Confound the association ! It has caused 
me a great deal of trouble, and it is likely to cause me 
more. My tenants are all members of the so-called 
'*Anti-Iron-Clad Lease and Protective Association," 
consequently refuse to pay advance rent. Some of my 
tenants are now in arrears with their rent two weeks. 



44 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act IV 

Had this happened some months ago they would have 
begged for merc^^ but now all is changed. 

Smulls, Yes, sir ; you are right. All is changed, 
and the end, I fear, is not yet come, as the association 
is becoming more powerful every day. I suppose you 
have read or heard about Mr. Robert Benson, the rich 
philanthropist, sending his bank check for fifty thou- 
sand dollars to the association a few days ago. What 
do you think of that ? 

Bibbins. Yes. I saw and read an account of it in 
one of the daily morning newspapers, and I think he 
was an old idiot for having done so. 

Tibbs, The impediments which now block the way 
of landlords and their agents and which prevent them 
from reigning supremely, as they once did in their 
respective fields of action, haj^e been placed there by 
themselves by their ever too-readiness to sell their ten- 
ants out for non-payment of advance rent. That 
Skipps' court affair was a step too far — a wholesale 
selling out, as it were. One at a time would have been 
a better way to have accomplished the desired result, 
speaking from a business standpoint. 

Bibbins. I do not agree with you, Tibbs, because I 
know you are wrong. The society would probably 
never have been formed had not that Quinby fellow 
turned up when he did. You know that he found his 
sister, Mrs. Price, as poor as the proverbial church 
mouse, and her household goods distrained for non- 
payment of a month's rent due in advance. These 
facts aroused his sympathy, and to avenge what he 
considered an injustice he and a few others aroused 
the feelings of tenants, in general, up against owners 
ers and agents of property, in consequence of which 
the association was organized. 

Tibbs. \To Bibbi7is.^ I think 3^ou are right, sir. 
Are you aware of the fact that Mr. Quinby is president 
of the society ? 

Bibbins, Yes, Tibbs ; I am aware of the fact. 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONE. 45 

Enter A Gknti^kman, u. K. 

Gent. \To Bibbins.'\ What rent do you ask per 
month for that five-roomed house on Bell street that is 
to let ? 

Bibbins, Fifteen dollars per month. 

Gent. I presume that you would desire me, in case 
I rented the house, to sign one of the tenants' associa- 
tion leases ? 

Bibbins. No, sir ; you presume too much. If you 
rent the house you must sign one of our leases. 

Gent, If 3^ou mean an iron-clad lease, I positively 
refuse to do so, sir ? 

Bibbins. Call it by that name if you wish to do 
so. That is what I mean. {Exit Gent, u. K.] Well, 
SmuUs, if it don't beat everything! More than five 
and twenty persons have called here wanting to rent 
houses, during the past week, but all were unwilling 
to sign what is generally termed an iron-clad lease. 

Smulls. Just as I said — the end is not yet come. 
It is too bad, sir. 

Enter A Lady, u. k. 

Lady . [ To Bibbins.'\ I desire to rent one of those 
houses in Skipps' court. 

Bibbins. You can do so, madam, provided you 
are willing to pay twelve dollars per month rent, in 
advance, and sign what is known as an iron-clad lease. 

Lady. I will not agree to do anything of the kind. 
I am, sir, a member of the Anti-Iron-clad Lease and 
Protective Association. Exit Lady, u. K, 

Bibbins. Well, well ! I do not think that I have 
sold out my business any too soon. 

Smulls. What ! Sold out your business ? You 
but jest, sir. 

Bibbins. No, no ; I am not jesting. It is the 
truth, and I think it was a very lucky move on my 
part. 



46 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act IV 

Smulls, Who is the fortunate gentleman, sir ? 
Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Bibbins. His name is John W. Shay, a native of 
New York State, where the greater part of his life has 
been spent, and where he made considerable money 
in the real estate businevSS. He arrived here in Phila- 
delphia about a week ago, seeking investment, so he 
bought me out. Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Smulls. When does Mr. Shay take possession ? 

Bibbins. To-morrow morning. 

SjuuIIs. \To Tibbs.'] You will, of course, be 
compelled to seek employment elsewhere. 

Tibbs. No, sir ; I have been engaged by Mr. 
Shay, so will remain in this office. 

Sjnulls. \^To Bibbins. ~\ You have certainly man- 
aged everything very nicely, so it seems. Do you 
intend to start into some other business, sir ? 

Bibbins. No, I do not, Smulls. What I intend 
to do is to travel. I have already made arrangements 
for a European trip. I expect to remain abroad for a 
few years, at least ; possibly I shall never return. I 
have sufficient means to keep me in comfort the 
balance of my life. 

Smulls. When do you expect to start, sir? — and in 
whose charge do you intend to leave your real estate ? 
In Mr. Shay's? 

Bibbins. I shall leave here for New York City 
to-morrow morning by the 4.30 train, and at 7.30 
A. M. I will board the steamer British Prince (of the 
American line) , which sails at the mentioned time for 
Liverpool, England. And as to my property, both 
real and personal have been sold — turned into cash 
money, as it were — which leaves me entirely free. 
And, being a bachelor, I am doubly free. Ah! ah! ah! 

Smulls. I am very much astonished, sir ; indeed 
I am. Have 3^ou informed your personal friends of 
your intention to go abroad? 



Scene i] HOW IT IS DONK. 47 

Bibbins. Yes, and many of them have I invited to 
attend my farewell reception and banquet, which will 
take place at my residence this night. No money has 
been spared to make it a grand affair. I personally 
invite you, SmuUs ; will you come ? 

Smulls. Thank you, sir ; I shall attend. Do you 
still own your residence ? You told me that you had 
sold all of your real estate. I do not understand. 

Bibbins. My residence, Smulls, along with all 
other properties that I owned, has been sold, as I told 
you, but the purchaser does not take possession until 
to-morrow, any time after sunrise. 

Smulls, Oh, that is the way the affair has been 
managed. 

Bibbins. [_Rises.^ I must now go. I wish you 
[to Tibbs^ to look your best to-night. 

Tibbs. I will, sir ; thank 3^ou. 

Stnulls. \_Rises^ I will go, too, as I have some 
business matters to attend to. 

[Exeunt Bibbins and Smulls, u. K. 

Tibbs. \Rises and stands at the desk arranging 
papers.'\ I will go too, as there will be no business 
transacted in this office until to-morrow, when Mr. 
Shay takes possession of affairs. I intend to remain 
in Mr. Shay's employ until next Fall. Then I shall en- 
ter the law office of J. B. Townman, to read law. 
I have resolved to become a lawyer. Mr. Bibbins' 
gift of five hundred dollars to me, a few days ago, is 
a god-send to myself and mother, for we were at the 
time very poor. Oh, if my father were living our hapi- 
ness would be complete. \Exit Tibbs, u. K. 



48 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act IV 

Scene II. — A front view of Bibbi7is' grand residence, 
brilliantly lighted. A beautiful garden in front of 
the house, — The company assembled. — Music, danc- 
ing and feasting are going on within. 

Enter Finn and Quinby, via garden gate u. E. 

Quinby. \^Looki7ig at the house. ~\ They are hav- 
ing a gay old time of it within. 

Fi7in. Indeed they are. Well, we will not dis- 
turb them, but wait until the banquet is over before 
we pounce upon our man. He is not likely to do much 
traveling in the countries of Europe as he ardently ex- 
pects to do, not at least for some 3^ears to come. So 
let him enjoy himself while he has the opportunity. 

Quinby. I think you are right in not interfering 
with the feast by arresting Bibbins now. When the 
rascal is caged he will not have as good a time as he 
is now having. Ah ! ah ! ah ! 

Enter Assistant Detective Shaw and Police 
Officer Bennet, via gar deyi gate, u. E. 

Finn. \To Officer. '\ You go to the rear of the 
house. Be vigilant ; let not our man escape us. 
Should you hear the sound of a whistle come to the 
garden. 

Officer. All right, sir. 

\Exit Officer (l. s.) of house. 

Finn. Well, Shaw, have you anything new to 
report ? If so, let me hear what it is at once. 

Shaw. I have, sir. I have discovered that Gribbs, 
alias Bibbins, has purchased a through ticket for New 
York City, and intends to leave here for that city b}^ 
the 4.30 A. M. train to-morrow morning. His bag- 
gage has already been checked. It will, however, 
now be detained until further orders shall have been 
received from 3'ou. 



Scene 2] HOW IT IS DONE. 49 

Finn. You have done well ; but come, we may as 
well sit down and await the gentleman's appearance. 
\They retire to (r. S.) of garden, where a bench 
is, and sit down. Quinby passes around 
segars, and they smoke. ^ 
Shaw, {Looking at his watch!] We will not have 
long to wait, as it is now a little past one o'clock. 

[A gentleman within the house is heard to say : 
''Come, fill your ^glasses full, and let us 
drink a farewell toast to our generous host. 
May God bless and protect him, and permit 
him to return to his native country and his 
many sincere friends , overflowing , as it were, 
with health and happiness. ' ' 
This is followed by applause and cries of ''So 

say we all f'' 
Then the clinking of glasses is heard. 
Bibbins replies: * '/ thank you most heartily for 
your good wishes, and may Heaven grant 
you all continuous health, happiness and 
prosperity . I part from you, my dear friends, 
with heartfelt regret, I do assure you.'' 
All {within^ ' ' We believe you I Long live our 
honorable host ! Huzza I huzza I huzza /" 
Quinby. They are preparing to depart. The 
banquet is about over, I judge. 

Finn. \To Quinby^ I think it is. \JR.ises.'\ 
Shaw, \he rises'] you go to the side of the house and 
keep watch there. Should 3'ou hear a whistle, come 
immediately to the garden. 
Shaw. All right, sir. 

{Fxit Shaw (r. s.) of house. 
{Confusion within the house, caused by Bibbins 
and his friends preparing to take their de- 
parture. Loud laughter, etc. 
Finn. Come. \To Quinby , who rises.] The feast 
is over. Bibbins will soon make his appearance. Let 



50 HOW IT IS DONE. [Act IV 

US go close to the front wall of the house and wait his 
coming. 

{They go and stand close to the front of the house. 
\Bibbi7is comes down the front steps with a port- 
manteau in his right hand, and a linen duster 
thrown over his left arm, followed by his 
guests. When he reaches the foot of the steps 
Tim Murray, a footman in livery, appears 
through the garden gateway, relieves him of 
those articles and exits via garden gate. As 
Bibbins steps toward the gate, Finn ap- 
proaches him and places his hand up07t his 
shoulder. 
Finn. Sir, 3^ou are my prisoner ; come with me. 
Bibbins. [Greatly S2irprised.~\ No, sir ; I shall not. 
What means this intrusion ? 

[He endeaDors to release himself. Finn blows a 
whistle. Enter Shaw and Officer Bennett. 
Finn. {To Shaw and Bennett. '\ Take charge of 
the prisoner. {They take hold of him, one on each side., 
Bibbins. Upon what charge? Oh, this is an out- 
rage ! There is some mistake. 
Finn. Forgery, sir. 

Bibbi7is. Preposterous ! When ? Where com- 
mitted ? 

Fi7i7i. Nearly thirteen years ago one David Gribbs, 
alias Bibbins, forged the name of, J. C. Cathmore, a 
wealthy retired merchant, then a resident of Boston, 
Massachusetts, to a check for ten thousand dollars, 
upon the West-End Savings Bank, located in the same 
city. The check was, on presentation, honored, and 
the forger immediately fled to parts unknown— until 
recently — and you are the man that is wanted. Here 
is the warrant for your arrest. Shall I read it to you ? 
Bibbins. No need to do so ; I am willing to go 
with you, knowing, as I do, that I can easily prove 
my innocence. But what proof have you that I am 
David Gribbs ? 



Scene 4] 



HOW IT IS DONE 



51 



Fmn. \Hands Bibbins a paper.'\ Your own writ- 
ten confession, sir ; read it. 

Bibbins. [ Takes the paper and reads it to hiinself 
with great agitation. '\ Oh! heavens where did you 
get this paper ? 

Finn. \Takes the paper from him?^ From the 
man whom you recently sold your waste office papers 
to. 

Tibbs. \_Shakes hands with Bibbins.^ I sympa- 
thize with you, sir. Indeed I do. I do hope there is 
some mistake. 

Bibbins. \Sadly.'\ I thank you Tibbs, for 3^our 
heartfelt sympath3^ But there is no mistake. I am 
in a sad plight. Oh ! what a fool I was for not hav- 
ing destroyed that paper — my confession of the crime 
of for^erv. But alas ! who can control his fate ? 



DISPOSITION OF CHARACTERS AT THE FALL OF 
THE CURTAIN. 

L. S. 

Tibbs, Shaw 

and Officer Bennett, 

with their prison er, 

David Gribbs, 

alias Bibbins, the forge r. 

The Curtain Drops. 



R. S. 


C. 


Fijin 


S mulls, 


{detective^ 


Guests 


a7id 


and others. 


Qitinby. 





THE END. 



